7 Lessons From a Reluctant Women's Bible Study Leader

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You, Who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. – Isaiah 64:4 NIV

Ten years ago, I was talking on the phone with my sister, and we got on the subject of Bible study. “I need to be in a group of women,” she told me. “I need the accountability. I won’t do it on my own.”

A few days later, I was talking with my cousin Karen, and we got on the subject of Bible study. “I need to be in a group of women,” she told me. “I need the accountability. I won’t do it on my own.”

A few days later, I was talking with my church friend Pam, and we got on the subject of Bible study. “I need to be in a group of women,” Pam told me. “I need the accountability. I won’t do it on my own.”

At which point, God had my attention.

A few weeks later, Pam and I headed up a planning meeting at church, and a few weeks after that, we held the first session of Proverbs 32 women’s Bible study. (No, we’re not trying to add to Scripture; we just wanted to convey that while we were striving to reach the Proverbs 31 standard, we weren’t there yet. We should have called ourselves Proverbs 30, but the “Sayings of Agur” didn’t seem to convey our mission. So we went with Proverbs 32…P32 for short.)

Just last week, my Bible study sisters and I wrapped up our 10th (!) season. I can hardly believe we've been at it this long. I can hardly believe it got started in the first place. Because I was possibly the least-qualified woman in the world to lead a women's Bible study.

But God has a way of working with the least.

I'm so grateful to Kelsey at The Unabashed Life for originally featuring this post in her Unabashed Woman Series. Now, just barely on the other side of another season of study, Kelsey has graciously given her blessing for me to share these lessons from the least here…treasured souvenirs from a very special journey.

1. With God’s help, you can do what you can’t. I was not qualified to facilitate a women’s Bible study. I am neither theologian nor Bible scholar. I am an introvert. I’d never even done a full-on Bible study before, much less headed one up.

Now I’ve learned that if God calls you to it, He will equip you for it. I brought plenty of weakness to the Bible study table—and there God showed His perfect power (2 Corinthians 12:9). Many weeks, after I’ve told God, “I can’t do this. I need You to do it through me and for me,” I’ve driven home from church praising God for the honor and thrill and wonder of seeing Him work.

2. You can love what you don’t even know you like. On a list of spiritual blessings from my entire life, P32 is very near the top. But before I wandered blindly in, doing or leading women’s Bible study wouldn’t have been on the list at all. Our God of surprises sprung this passion on me when wasn’t even looking for it.

3. Silence does not equal disinterest, boredom, or anger. In P32’s early days, I agonized that ladies who never spoke up didn’t like the material or didn’t like me—or both. But after more than one of them told me privately, “I love this study and this group. I’m getting so much out of it,” I quit worrying about my non-talkers. Someone can be engaged and enthusiastic without saying a word.

4. Pray. (Wisely.) From the beginning, we knew we needed to pray with and for each other. But in order to dedicate most of our time to studying and discussing the Word, we started using prayer cards. Every week, our members wrote their names on index card and, if they wanted to, a praise or a request. I shuffled the cards and handed them back out, and each woman committed to praying for the sister whose name was on the card. We also formed a closed Facebook group, open to all members of P32 but not to anyone else—a safe, private place for us to all share in one another’s joys and sorrows.

5. Do your best to choose a study that’s right for your group, but don’t get hung up trying to find THE right study. Every year, God has graciously guided me toward and then confirmed a study I felt was a good fit for us. But I always come back to this truth: as long as we are digging into His Word and using careful, humble teaching to do it, Jehovah will bless and inform us. He is not so stingy as to leave us just because we don’t choose one “right” study. He is bigger and more generous than that.

6. Growing pains are normal, but they probably won’t last long. We had seven ladies our first season of P32, and it was so special we couldn’t keep it to ourselves. We started showing and sharing it, and others began saying, “I want that.” Twenty women showed up at our first meeting that second year. We revamped our format to accommodate the growth, but it was unsettling. “I just feel like crying,” one our founding members told me, and I shared her grief. We went back to our original structure and quickly settled into a new normal with a larger group. It wasn’t the same, but it was still good.

7. You will scarcely know a sweeter privilege on this earth than that of watching—before your very eyes– another woman grow in her knowledge of God and her love for Him. The gift of having a fellow sister in Christ tell you that because of what she’s learned in a study, she chose differently or reacted differently or thought differently or felt differently than she “normally” would have is immeasurable. It is worth every worry, every difficult morning, every beyond- ourself moment. To borrow from 3 John 4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my [study sisters] are walking intruth.” My heart breaks with happiness just thinking about it. 

In a few months, if God wills it, I might once again take the seat at the front of the table in our Bible study meeting room. From there, I’ll look for new lessons that I AM—The One and Only…the God of Daniel, Esther, James…the Spirit Who produces fruit—has ready for me and for the women seated around me. I can’t wait.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. – 1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV

How about you, sweet friend? Have you led Bible study and learned some lessons along the way? Or have you sensed God calling you to lead (er, "facilitate") but are holding back? I'd be honored to have you share your story in a comment.

Who Is the Holy Spirit and What Does He Have to Do with Fruit (Part 8)

As Christians, we're supposed to be filled with the Spirit of God. But what, exactly, does that look like? Well, for one thing, it looks like gentleness.

What in the Word: Galatians 5:22-25

Hang-Onto-It Verse: "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23a)

Welcome to the penultimate post in our Fruit of the Spirit series! As we finish out this series on the qualities of the fruit of the Spirit, I've been sharing the wisdom and inspiration of other writers. Now I'm honored and delighted to introduce you to Karen Del Tatto of Growing Together in Grace and Knowledge. I "found" Karen via the blog hop circuit, and it was one of the happiest things to happen to me last year. I know Karen's gift with words and the wisdom behind them will be sweet for your soul today.

 BLESSED ARE THE MEEK, FOR THEY SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH

Matthew 5:5

I've always admired people who are gentle in their speech, manner and actions. Sweet, soft voices that seem to woo hearers into a peaceful state...attitudes which see good in every person and situation...calmness when circumstances warrant otherwise...

I've been blessed with two people like that in my life: my grandma and a dear sister-in-Christ, Raquel.

My grandmother left such a beautiful legacy. I never once heard her saying anything bad about anyone. She never complained. In fact, when you asked her how she was doing, she would always say, "Oh, I can't complain." Grandma was always happy. I can still hear her sweet voice in my "mind's-ear" saying, "Hi Dear" as I walked in the door. A sweet, gentle spirit...

My friend Raquel taught me much about being a gentle parent. Her children were already well-behaved, but if a situation arose where she needed to intervene, Raquel never raised her sweet sounding voice, but would stay calm as she spoke, her gentleness diffusing the situation, bringing calmness to her children.

I wish I could say both of these gentle spirits shaped me into a gentle phenom, but sadly this is not the case. I don't have a sweet, gentle voice. In fact, it seems physically impossible for me to lower my voice to a whisper. (LOL!) I can be assertive in certain situations, and I tend to complain and be critical. Nothing gentle about any of these things.

I don't know if it seems like it to you, but to me anyway, I feel like people who are gentle are just born with naturally sweet voices and dispositions.

But, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we are all called and capable of being gentle. For we are born of the Spirit, and He has planted the fruit of gentleness deep within us. 

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines gentle as:

• having or showing a kind and quiet nature : not harsh or violent
• not hard or forceful
• not strong or harsh in effect or quality

Similarly, a synonym of gentle, meek is defined as: quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive.

Having a few months lead time to prepare this post, I prayed and pondered about what I might share on the fruit of gentleness. The Lord responded by graciously providing many insights over these weeks and months. But there was one overarching theme that became very evident to me: we have the Perfect example of gentleness to emulate--the Lamb of God.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, 

and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29)

Through this verse, the Lord showed me that gentleness is an antidote for fear.   

A majority of the time, when we find ourselves being harsh and controlling, (the opposite of gentle and humble), we are acting out from fear. In our striving, we are trying to force our wills on the situation, rather than having an attitude of gentleness and humility, which trusts God for the outcome of the situation, bringing rest to our souls.

Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him, saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus[a] was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. Then after this he said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just now seeking to stone you, and are you going there again?” Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.” After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.” The disciples said to him, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.” Now Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that he meant taking rest in sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” (John 11:1-15)

Through this, the Lord showed me that our gentleness brings glory to God.

When I'm in a state of rushing, I tend to bang around, loudly complaining that I am late. If I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I look very harsh. It isn't pretty and there is nothing gentle about my demeanor...a very poor testimony.

It seems that inevitably, when we rush, we actually create obstacles that delay us even more, like spilled coffee from moving too quickly and not paying attention, or finally leaving, driving up the road a few minutes, and then realizing we need to go back to get something we've forgotten.

Rushing also exhibits itself through an attitude of impatience. When we are impatiently waiting for something to happen, such as waiting for an answer to prayer, a change in a loved one's detrimental behavior, results of medical tests, word about a job, approval of a mortgage, and the list goes on and on, we tend to fret and feel anxious. My impatience manifests itself through increased activity in an attempt to distract myself. I may become angry that something is not happening fast enough. Instead of calmness and gentleness, I display tenseness and irritability, many times lashing out at others. 

Jesus never rushed anywhere. He was always calm and gentle in His actions, even when those around him were hoping He would rush to help, as in the example of Lazarus, where Jesus chose to wait so that God would be glorified, and the disciples would believe.

God's Kingdom clock ticks differently then our own. He ordains our steps each day. When we view all of life's circumstances through the eyes of God's purposes, even those that seem annoying to us or that we have been waiting on God for, we must trust God's lessons and His perfect timing.

Be still {calm, gentle} before the Lord and wait patiently for him... (Psalm 37:7)

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love...(Ephesians 4:2)

Going through the day to day activities of life in a gentle manner, taking our time and being purposeful in all that we do, trusting God for the outcome, will not only do wonders for our well-being, but most importantly will bring Glory to God by our witness to others.

  

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. (1 Peter 2:21-23)

He will not cry out or raise His voice, Nor make His voice heard in the street.  A bruised reed He will not break And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish. (Isaiah 42:2-3)

Through these verses the Lord showed me that a gentle spirit gives grace at all times.

Unfortunately, I'm sure we've all experienced those people that like to "push our buttons" to the point that we respond harshly. We tell ourselves that we aren't going to let this person get to us, but then it happens, we explode...

There are also the little irritations in life that seem to "push our buttons." We show frustration to our husband who hasn't done something we've asked him to do; or speak angrily to a child who is throwing a tantrum.

O, that when our "buttons are pushed" we would pour out gentle grace instead of frustration and anger.

Jesus was the epitome of gentleness, even at the hands of His tormentors, never responding harshly, always extending grace. The culmination of this great grace flowed down from the cross: Jesus' blood, washing away the sins of the world, extending God's love and mercy to all who would believe.

After seeing the examples of Jesus' gentle ways, you might be thinking the same thing I am...

How can I possibly attain to the level of gentleness that Jesus exhibited? He was the perfect, spotless Lamb of God who knew no sin. I am a sinner with a bent to sin and self!

By abiding in Jesus.

Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches. The only way a branch is able to produce fruit is by staying connected to the vine, the lifeblood, that courses through, nourishing the branch.

How do we abide?

Through prayer and time in the Word, growing us spiritually.

 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, 

full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. (James 3:17)  

Through being part of a church body, and having fellowship with other believers, encouraging practical application.

I can definitely say that all of the positive spiritual changes in my own life, on a practical level, can be directly traced back to the encouragement and example of fellow believers who I had consistently spent time with or from teachers whose lessons I sat under often.

If the fruit of gentleness is something that you could produce a bigger bushel of {like myself}, find a gentle friend and learn from her and her ways; then be intentional to exercise the muscle of gentleness, and it will grow and become defined and evident, testifying to those around you, bringing glory to God.

May God strengthen us to...

... pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.(1 Timothy 6:11)

...let {our} gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. (Philippians 4:5)

"When your words came, I ate them; 

they were my joy and my heart's delight." (Jeremiah 15:16)

(Looking for Part 7 of this series? Find it here.)

Who Is the Holy Spirit and What Does He Have to Do with Fruit (Part 7)

As Christians, we're supposed to be filled with the Spirit of God. But what, exactly, does that look like? Well, for one thing, it looks like faithfulness.

What in the Word: Galatians 5:22-25

Hang-Onto-It Verse: "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23a)

This is going to be a different kind of post, sweet friends. As we finish out this series on the qualities of the fruit of the Spirit, I've been sharing the wisdom and inspiration of other writers. I asked my 12-year-old, who loves to write, to share with you on faithfulness. Which she agreed to do...until school and dance and band and other life stuff got in the way. So you're back to me for this post, and because I'm doing this in the thick of the Christmas season, I'm just going to write in relatively unstructured fashion.

What other words come to mind when you think of faithfulness? My brain leaps pretty quickly toward loyalty, consistency, dependability. A few years ago, my uncle was talking about my dad, and he said, "Russ...he's steady." Yes. Steady. My dad is steady. My husband, bless his heart, is steady. And Abba is steady. Look up James 1:17. I love the beautiful word picture of faithfulness James paints in the last part of that verse.

Our pastor at church has been challenging members of our congregation to prepare their testimonies--and to be ready to share them, at any time, in four minutes. I've been working on mine, and I don't know of a better way to write on faithfulness than to share it here. Not because I have been faithful, but because God has.

This is my story. This is my song.

I grew up in the church. This is a truth I write with a heart full of gratitude, because I do not take it for granted, and as an adult, I know what a gift it is.

From the time I was a baby, I was in church every Sunday morning. When I was old enough, I went to Sunday School every week. I sang in the "cherub choir." I went to Vacation Bible School and summer church camp. And because of all this, truth about Who God is was woven into the fabric of my reality all along.

I learned that the Earth is round, that the sun comes up every morning, that 2 + 2 = 4, and that God loves me and wants me to belong to Him and that He sent His Son Jesus to deal with the sin that gets in the way of our relationship. 

The was my reality, and I accepted it with the childlike faith God says we all have to have to enter His kingdom. Out of this faith, I prayed a prayer in my bedroom of my parents' house when I was in about third grade. I told God I believed in Him and that I knew I was a sinner. I asked Jesus to wipe my sins away and to come live in my heart and to make it possible for me to go to heaven when my life on this earth was done.

I absolutely believe I received eternal salvation in that moment. I believe my status as a child of God was sealed that night. And I believe God wrote my name in His Lamb's Book of Life (see Revelation 21:27)--and there it remains to this day.

If you're waiting for a story of teenage rebellion against God, I don't have one to share. In junior high and high school, I kept wanting to be closer to God, but I didn't really know how to get there.

When I went off to college at a private Christian school where I knew no one, I suddenly got around people who loved God differently than I did. They loved Him more. They loved Him with a passion that was new to me. And I wanted what they had. 

Very quickly, God in His mercy and faithfulness, showed me a game-changing truth. He showed me that up to that point, He had been a piece of my life, but He had never been the whole deal. He had been a spoke on my life's wheel, but He had never been the center Hub. I had compartmentalized God: He was one part of my life, but He was not part of all the other parts. I heard Him say to my mind and heart, "Elizabeth. I don't want to be part of your life. I want to be your life."

One night, in the middle of a typical young-adult personal crisis, I sat in the dark on my bed in my dorm room and cried out to God like I never had before. I lifted up my soul to Him, using these words from Psalm 25: "To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in You I trust, O my God. Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long" (Psalm 25:1,2,4,5).

Since that night, God has been faithfully--steadfastly, consistently--drawing me to Himself and showing me what life with Him as the center spoke looks like. He has taught me to weave personal, in-depth Bible study, prayer, Christian music, worship, fellowship, and service into the fabric of my existence.

Hebrews 11:1 describes faith as "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Faithfulness, then, looks to me like acting and living and thinking based on what we hope for but do not yet see fully. Because hope in I AM is never misplaced. Because His love is faithful. Because His redemption is abundant.

Sweet girl, I'm going to wrap this up with a song. When I hear or read the word "faithfulness," I automatically think of the hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness." If you're not a hymn fan, take a moment to listen to this version from Page CXVI...an incredible group whose passion is to introduce this present generation to hymns of the past. (Curious about the back story on this group's name? You'll find it at #8 on this list.)

"Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not. As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be. Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning, new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!"

"When your words came, I ate them; 

they were my joy and my heart's delight." (Jeremiah 15:16)

(Looking for Part 6 of this series? Find it here.)